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long distance relationship wedding photographer

CLIENTS, RANDOM

Long Distance Love: Part 1

10.18.2011

Often, it’s a question that comes up.

After I explain that I grew up in California and now live in Texas, and my husband was an army brat who grew up all over the country, it’s usually a question that comes up. “How did you meet each other?”

I take a deep breath, because I know the reaction that will follow.

“Florida.”

Usually, looks of surprise or confusion start to surface on their face, which launches me into further explanation.

“No, we didn’t meet on Spring Break. We met as interns at Disney World after college.”

Then, I’ll break it down into how we got to where we are now. Whenever I look back at how far we’ve come, from being apartments apart to states and time zones away from each other, I think, “Well, I’m glad we don’t have to do that anymore.” Trust me, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart.

It’s typically a question I get asked in the midst of our story. “How did you work your long-distance relationship?” And when I say that Cent and I dated for 3 years long distance, jaws drop, and responses include “Congratulations”, “That’s amazing”, and “I could never do that.”

So that led me to whip up this blog series on long-distance relationships. I’m far from an expert, and I’m writing from my limited experience, but I think that with three years experience, I have a few tips to share.

5 Things to Consider in a Long Distance Relationship

1. DECIDE. Long distance relationships are not easy and they are not for everyone. If you’re serious about making your long distance relationship work, you’ll need to really decide and commit to making this work. Talk about it with your partner. What is the distance you’ll be separated? How often do you want/can you see each other? How long will you be separated for? A few months, a few years, indefinitely? Is this person worth it? In some cases, that person may not be. In other cases, that person may be the one. It’s a personal decision, and it’s a big one. Cent and I are evidence that a long distance relationship can work.

2. INDEPENDENCE. I think it’s incredibly important for each partner to be independent. What I mean by that is that you need to have your own life without your boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to have your own set of friends and be comfortable hanging out with friends in lieu of your significant other. If you’re a co-dependent personality, a long distance relationship is probably not for you. If Cent was my only friend, and I had to live 2,000 miles away, I don’t know that it would have worked out very well, and the reverse is true. Because we each had our lives (between visits), I didn’t feel dependent on him for human contact, and later, when we caught up with each other on the phone, we had things to talk about.

3. COMMUNICATION. Figure out how you’ll be communicating with each other when you’re not together. Is that the phone, e-mail, Skype, smoke signals? It’s paramount in a long distance relationship to know when you’ll be touching base and catching up with each other. When we first started dating, it was still back when “Night & Weekend” minutes mattered on cell phones, especially with separate carriers. Cent was living in Georgia, and I was in California. With a three hour time difference, and having to wait until 9pm in California, which was midnight in Georgia…it made it a little complicated during the week. Once we were both on AT&T, with unlimited mobile to mobile minutes, it made things a million times easier.

4. PLAN. One of the things that made our long distance relationship easier was that we would plan on when we would see each other next. At least as much as possible. We would take turns flying to California and to Texas about every 8-10 weeks. I think the longest we went without seeing each other (which was the most difficult) was about 12 weeks. Too long when you’re in the same country, in my opinion. One of the minor perks was racking up a bunch of frequent flyer miles with all the flying, although, I am thankful I’m not on a plane all the time anymore. By planning when you’ll see each other next, you’ll have a goal date to look forward to, which will help the weeks in between pass faster.

5. COMMIT. I dare to say that many long distance relationships don’t work because either party isn’t fully committed. Long distance relationships are not for everyone. There are some people in my life that I know would fail miserably at one because of their personality or commitment issues. If you succumb easily to temptation, then a long distance relationship is probably not for you. If you want to make your long distance relationship work, you need to be committed. You need to be able to live your life away from your significant other, while still being in a committed relationship. For me, being in a committed long distance relationship made things simpler in some ways. I didn’t feel the pressure that some of my friends did when going out and trying to meet someone. Instead, I knew that I could go home, call Cent, and tell him funny stories of what happened that night.

These are just some thoughts to consider if you’re in the midst of thinking about doing long distance. It’s totally doable, for the right couples. In fact, I was just thinking about it and three of my couples last year were in a long distance relationship of some sort, and I shot all their weddings, so they are also proof that you can work a long distance relationship.

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PERSONAL

Summer Favorites 2011

08.31.2011

In case you didn’t get the memo, or are like me and don’t believe your eyes, September starts tomorrow. I know. WHAT?!

When I was a little kid, I used to think that the year started in September. You know, because you start the school in September. Makes sense, right? Well, I guess the year starts tomorrow. Or at least the end of summer, although summer is officially over on September 21.

It’s been a good summer. Ridiculous heat and 40 days of over 100 degree weather aside, summer was pretty awesome.

dallas wedding photographer catie ronquillo summer favorite things

 

1. Crazy Stupid Love is my summer movie pick that I didn’t know I’d like. From the previews I thought that it would be your average romantic comedy. But it’s so much more. MUCH more. And well, Ryan Gosling’s abs don’t hurt.

2. We finally went to Tillman’s Roadhouse for Restaurant week and I can’t wait to go back. So delicious. My parents and sister come into town next week, so we may just HAVE to go again!

3. This summer we celebrated our second wedding anniversary with a little weekend getaway to San Antonio, which included a day at Sea World. I had never been before, and there’s a water park within the amusement park, double win! Also, it was only 95 degrees in San Antonio and felt like 80. For mid July, it was so nice.

4. While in San Antonio, several of our friends recommended Mi Tierra for dinner. So we obliged, and the recommendation was spot on. Not to mention that the $1 churros were amazing!

5. So I had heard about The Help for the last couple years, but I didn’t pick it up until this Spring. I finally dove into it this summer and I don’t know why I waited so long! It was such a good book. I think I was extra motivated since the movie came out and I’m one of those people who likes to read the book before seeing the movie. And I can honestly say that the movie was so so so good too.

6. Okay, so I’m biased because we’re blood. But even if we weren’t cousins, I’d probably still blog about this album. My cousin, Mercy Bell, released her first in-studio album All Good Cowboys a few weeks ago. It started as a dream, then a Kickstarter project (thank you for your contributions!), and now it’s finally here. I’m so proud of her. Next thing you know she’ll be opening for someone big. And then her name will be in lights. You can purchase the album here as well as on iTunes.

Since it’s the last day of August, how was your summer? Do anything fun?

 

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