After I explain that I grew up in California and now live in Texas, and my husband was an army brat who grew up all over the country, it’s usually a question that comes up. “How did you meet each other?”

I take a deep breath, because I know the reaction that will follow.

“Florida.”

Usually, looks of surprise or confusion start to surface on their face, which launches me into further explanation.

“No, we didn’t meet on Spring Break. We met as interns at Disney World after college.”

Then, I’ll break it down into how we got to where we are now. Whenever I look back at how far we’ve come, from being apartments apart to states and time zones away from each other, I think, “Well, I’m glad we don’t have to do that anymore.” Trust me, long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart.

It’s typically a question I get asked in the midst of our story. “How did you work your long-distance relationship?” And when I say that Cent and I dated for 3 years long distance, jaws drop, and responses include “Congratulations”, “That’s amazing”, and “I could never do that.”

So that led me to whip up this blog series on long-distance relationships. I’m far from an expert, and I’m writing from my limited experience, but I think that with three years experience, I have a few tips to share.

5 Things to Consider in a Long Distance Relationship

1. DECIDE. Long distance relationships are not easy and they are not for everyone. If you’re serious about making your long distance relationship work, you’ll need to really decide and commit to making this work. Talk about it with your partner. What is the distance you’ll be separated? How often do you want/can you see each other? How long will you be separated for? A few months, a few years, indefinitely? Is this person worth it? In some cases, that person may not be. In other cases, that person may be the one. It’s a personal decision, and it’s a big one. Cent and I are evidence that a long distance relationship can work.

2. INDEPENDENCE. I think it’s incredibly important for each partner to be independent. What I mean by that is that you need to have your own life without your boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to have your own set of friends and be comfortable hanging out with friends in lieu of your significant other. If you’re a co-dependent personality, a long distance relationship is probably not for you. If Cent was my only friend, and I had to live 2,000 miles away, I don’t know that it would have worked out very well, and the reverse is true. Because we each had our lives (between visits), I didn’t feel dependent on him for human contact, and later, when we caught up with each other on the phone, we had things to talk about.

3. COMMUNICATION. Figure out how you’ll be communicating with each other when you’re not together. Is that the phone, e-mail, Skype, smoke signals? It’s paramount in a long distance relationship to know when you’ll be touching base and catching up with each other. When we first started dating, it was still back when “Night & Weekend” minutes mattered on cell phones, especially with separate carriers. Cent was living in Georgia, and I was in California. With a three hour time difference, and having to wait until 9pm in California, which was midnight in Georgia…it made it a little complicated during the week. Once we were both on AT&T, with unlimited mobile to mobile minutes, it made things a million times easier.

4. PLAN. One of the things that made our long distance relationship easier was that we would plan on when we would see each other next. At least as much as possible. We would take turns flying to California and to Texas about every 8-10 weeks. I think the longest we went without seeing each other (which was the most difficult) was about 12 weeks. Too long when you’re in the same country, in my opinion. One of the minor perks was racking up a bunch of frequent flyer miles with all the flying, although, I am thankful I’m not on a plane all the time anymore. By planning when you’ll see each other next, you’ll have a goal date to look forward to, which will help the weeks in between pass faster.

5. COMMIT. I dare to say that many long distance relationships don’t work because either party isn’t fully committed. Long distance relationships are not for everyone. There are some people in my life that I know would fail miserably at one because of their personality or commitment issues. If you succumb easily to temptation, then a long distance relationship is probably not for you. If you want to make your long distance relationship work, you need to be committed. You need to be able to live your life away from your significant other, while still being in a committed relationship. For me, being in a committed long distance relationship made things simpler in some ways. I didn’t feel the pressure that some of my friends did when going out and trying to meet someone. Instead, I knew that I could go home, call Cent, and tell him funny stories of what happened that night.

These are just some thoughts to consider if you’re in the midst of thinking about doing long distance. It’s totally doable, for the right couples. In fact, I was just thinking about it and three of my couples last year were in a long distance relationship of some sort, and I shot all their weddings, so they are also proof that you can work a long distance relationship.

what next?

1. Share this with brides you know!
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3. See more inside scoop with other posts on wedding advice for brides & grooms here.

I will be heading to California at the end of the the month for some portrait sessions and to visit family and friends.

Want to schedule a photo session with me while I am there? Email me catie {at} catieronquillo {dot} com! Sessions limited.

I’m excited to see my family and get to spend the traditional Family Night together. I’m excited to see my dogs, Frieda and Walter. I’m excited that I’ll get to experience a cool day of summer, one that may even require putting on a jacket at night. And I’m excited that I’ll see the COAST. And water. Woo hoo!

Happy Monday!

Well a few of my friends who are currently in the trenches of wedding planning have asked me for advice on the actual day, since I’ve done the whole wedding thing. However, since I’m not a wedding planner and I can only speak from my own experience as a bride when it comes to the wedding day, so I asked my good friend and Dallas wedding planner, Kelly Simants of Sweet Pea Events, for some wedding day tips.

From Kelly:

• Relax – Let the Sweet Pea Team handle all of the details! You have planned SO much and now it’s your time to sit back, relax, and let us do the work! Our goal is that you have so much fun with your friends and family while we make your event seamless!
• Pause – Every hour or so, just remind yourself to “pause” and soak everything in. Look around you and pay attention to the details that are all coming together – what you feel like in your dress (amazing!), what your cake design looks like, what your flowers look like, and soak in the fact that you are getting married!
• Remember the Reason – Keep in mind that not only is this about your wedding day, it is about your marriage and you are entering a wonderful new adventure and season in your life! The day goes by so fast that it’s easy to get sidetracked and lose sight of the real reason you are celebrating!
• Eat Food & Drink Water – The Sweet Pea team will help remind you that you need to drink lots of water and eat on your wedding day. Even if it’s something light like a bagel, cheese and crackers, etc. Many times brides say they don’t want to eat on the day-of, but it’s critical to ensure you don’t pass out, and that you have lots of energy to enjoy your special day!
• Go With the Flow – There may be things that come up which are unexpected (rain being one example!) We know that it’s a possibility it could rain, so if that happens – instead of being disappointed, try to go with the flow and not let that bring you down. After all, we always have a Plan B for rain, so you are as prepared as you can be!

Thanks Kelly for the awesome advice!

Are you in need of a wedding planner in the Dallas/Fort Worth Area?
Contact Kelly:
Website: Sweet Pea Events
Blog: Sweet Pea Events Blog
Phone: 214.901.8900
Email: info@sweetpeaevents.net

what next?

1. Share this with brides you know!
2. Subscribe to our new monthly e-zine: tips from the best in the industry on creating a stress-free wedding that honors your relationship and, most importantly, building a lasting wonderful marriage.  Leave a comment below or click here to sign up.
3. See more inside scoop with other posts on wedding advice for brides & grooms here.

Together with Amy Karp, Natasha Brown, and Anna Routh, we were the local contact getting everything in order. We had three fabulous Hair and Makeup artists, Emily Hudspeth, Adina Wright, and Zsanae. We had four awesome models, Cassie, Erica, Melissa, and Tristan. We shot at the lovely Ryan Manor that Chris Ryan so graciously opened his doors for (and the weather was dreary, by the way!) And we had knock out outfits, that Amy and I were able to find at the eleventh hour. (That expression always seems weird to me…) We also had three great teaching photographers, Heather Essian, Jason Huang of Table 4 Weddings, and Amy Karp.

Miss Cassie was also a contestant on one of the seasons of America’s Next Top Model, so she totally knew how to work the camera. Admittedly, I’ve never even seen a whole episode of ANTM, but I often hear all the hoopla from friends who can’t stop talking about it.

Jason taught lighting. Because he is a master at it. If you go check out his photos, you’ll understand what I mean. I was glad to get a couple of shots with his help. Erica and Tristan looked like the perfect vintage wedding couple.

There were about 30 photographers in attendance and were split up into three groups. One group with each teaching photographer. Then after about 45 minutes we rotated. So all the attendees had a chance to learn from all the teachers and work with all the models.

And the lovely Melissa. Isn’t her hair fascinator cute? It was made by Lisa Raser, of Ink and Button. And it just so happened to work perfectly with Melissa’s outfit. More to come of Lisa’s cute fascinators!

More to come!

Are you interested in participating in a Shootout? Email me!

I just met Emily last week and I can tell you she is not only a fabulous hair and makeup artist, but she’s also so fun to be around! She used to live and work in Los Angeles, so we quickly related through our California connection. We were lucky enough to have Emily on board to do some hair and makeup for the Dallas PhotogShootout (which I’ll be posting this week!).

Check out some of Emily’s work from Friday:

Working her magic on our lovely model, Erica.

And the end results!

And on a photographer’s note, let me just say how important it is to have awesome hair and makeup that not only makes you look and feel fabulous, but will last all day long through the all the photos, your tears of joy, and of course, sweating on the dance floor!

In order to win:

Leave a comment on Kelly’s blog (not mine!) and tell us about your most interesting hair and makeup experience…you know, the best haircut you’ve ever had…the funniest experience getting your makeup done, how your hair stylist saved the day, etc.

We’ll choose the winner by midnight this Friday, March 5th and will announce on Monday, March 8th. Winner will need to use the complimentary hair and makeup trial by August 31, 2010 and will need to be a bride getting married in 2010.  Winner will also need to visit Emily’s studio in Addison, TX for the hair and makeup trial.

So hop on over to the Sweet Pea Events blog for your chance to win!

And the way that I booked our photographer was probably pretty unconventional (knowing what I know now). It was completely over email. We didn’t meet our photographer until our engagement session. And since he lived out of our area, meeting him between the engagement session and wedding day was not as simple. But I have zero regrets about our wedding photographer, because he was SO AWESOME! And everyone at our wedding had a fantastic time.

But now that I think about it, it was because I didn’t know the ins and outs of hiring a wedding photographer, let alone the rest of the wedding vendors we worked with. Namely, because I had never been married, nor had I ever planned a wedding.

So since I’m guessing most brides who will come upon this post probably haven’t been married before or have never planned or contacted wedding photographers before, here are some helpful hints for getting the most out of your search.

1. Ask for referrals from recently married friends. That’s actually how I ended up finding our photographer. And it’s the best way to find out about the style and personality of the wedding photographer. Were they professional, fun, adventurous, traditional, modern, etc. Make sure you find someone whose style you LOVE. And, it will give you some insight to their price ranges.
2. Check out the photographer’s work. Read their blog. Can you get a sense of their style and personality? Is it something that you connect with, or is it not you? If it’s not you, that’s okay, it doesn’t have to be. Can you imagine yourself in the photos of the photographer? Can you imagine loving the photos fifty years from now? If the answer is “YES!” then start contacting your favorites.
3. When you send out initial inquiries, most wedding photographers will want to set up an in-person or phone meeting. My mentality (at the time) was that I just wanted to know their price point, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. However, now I know that most wedding photographers want to ensure that they are a good fit with you. Because having a good rapport with your photographer who will be documenting your day is KEY. Imagine a wedding day where you don’t trust your wedding photographer or you don’t get along. It could make for a very uncomfortable time for a very important day.
4. Narrow down your choices to three max. Make it easier on yourself. But if you’ve found the photographer that you ABSOLUTELY must have, contact them and let them know just that! We work hard to make it easy for a client to make that decision pre-meeting, and your meeting should solidify that conviction.
5. If you are ready to book your photographer, book them! Most wedding photographers book anywhere between 6 and 12 months before your wedding date, so if you know that you want a particular wedding photographer, make sure to secure your date! And when you inquire with photographers, make sure you have a date! A photographer can’t secure a maybe this date or that date, and will require a retainer to book a date. So, it’s easiest if you have a wedding date set.

I hope this post was helpful. I know that if I had known what I know now, I’d be better prepared for hiring wedding vendors. I hope this makes things easier for both brides and grooms as well as photographers!

*NOTE: This is not meant to be a comprehensive list, but merely a starting point for brides and grooms. A comprehensive list would probably take up a series of posts.*

If you have any other suggestions or helpful hints, please leave them in the comments!

Happy Thursday!

what next?

1. Share this with brides you know!
2. Subscribe to our new monthly e-zine: tips from the best in the industry on creating a stress-free wedding that honors your relationship and, most importantly, building a lasting wonderful marriage.  Leave a comment below or click here to sign up.
3. See more inside scoop with other posts on wedding advice for brides & grooms here.

I now have a vague idea what it’s like to live where it snows regularly. Note: I said vague.

Last week was the first time I drove in the snow and I was pretty nervous about it. Especially when Cent told me (on a precautionary note) not to slam on the breaks or else that would cause me to fishtail. What?! Thanks. So there I was, hands gripping the steering wheel, driving between 20-30 miles an hour to the post office. Then, since I was in the area, I decided to hit up Barnes & Noble. As I was looking at books, I was also checking on Twitter. Oh life has changed since Twitter hit the scene. It was there that I heard from photographer friends about organizing a last minute shoot since it was snowing. And well, it doesn’t snow everyday in Dallas!

So big thanks to my friend Celina Gomez for getting this together super last minute, and Magaly Abbott and Valerie Valdez for joining in on the fun!

Meet Steph and Jules and their adorable wolf-sized dog, Johan.

Steph and Jules were total troopers and up for anything!

Steph and Jules, you guys killed it!

Seriously, I’m surprised Steph didn’t melt the snow!

I should have shot a video of these piggy back attempts. Hilarious!

They were all good lying in the snow, my kind of couple. Up for whatever.

Then again, they were keeping each other warm.

Steph and Jules, you two were adorable. Thanks so much for coming out at the last minute to get some snow action!

Are you looking for online inspiration for your wedding beyond The Knot?

Well good news! A brand spanking new online wedding magazine launched today! Introducing Nonpareil Magazine:

It has tons of DIY goodness, affordable, yet stylish centerpieces, and tutorials!

Another online wedding magazine that I’m a big fan of is Utterly Engaged. Having launched last year, they are now in their seventh issue:

And of course, it wouldn’t be a blog post of mine if I didn’t offer a few more blogs to peruse for inspiration and entertainment galore!

• Once Wed
• Ruffled Blog
• Snippet & Ink
• Ritzy Bee Blog
• The Broke Ass Bride
• The Knot

Happy Tuesday!

what next?

1. Share this with brides you know!
2. Subscribe to our new monthly e-zine: tips from the best in the industry on creating a stress-free wedding that honors your relationship and, most importantly, building a lasting wonderful marriage.  Leave a comment below or click here to sign up.
3. See more inside scoop with other posts on wedding advice for brides & grooms here.

But I have to say that since moving to Dallas, I’ve been embraced by the wedding photographer community as well as some awesome wedding vendors. Of the folks I’ve been blessed to meet, they’ve taken me in, without saying, “Who the heck is this girl from California?” or “Oh great, more competition!” I’m happy to say, we’ve evolved acquaintances into friendships.

And trust me, it’s not super easy. For one, I’m a shy person, by nature. I know, I know, for someone who puts her life online, how can I be a shy person? Well, I wasn’t always this outgoing, putting my life out there. I was the quiet kid who stood on the sidelines, listening. But when I started my journey into wedding photography back in California, I knew that I had to find people who shared a passion for the craft, were fun to hang out with, and that maybe I could help with carrying bags. So I would go to photographer get togethers. Alone. I know, I didn’t even bring a wingman! But I was intent on pushing myself to get out there and meet people. Because I knew that eventually, I’d be moving to Texas, without anyone I knew.

It was great practice. And although it could be nerve-wracking, I learned that it wasn’t all that scary. Like the other person wasn’t going to eat me alive (and if they were, I could always run!) and for the most part, I knew that people coming to these get togethers shared the same interests and it was all about sharing our stories.

So I put the same principles into practice when I moved to Dallas. I also have to include that Facebook and Twitter were great resources for “meeting” Dallas/Fort Worth wedding photographers and wedding vendors before moving here. I met the awesome Kelly Simants of Sweet Pea Events through her business partner Michelle Loretta of mmm…paper and Sage Wedding Pros through Twitter. I “met” Cesar and Tanya Perez of Perez Photography through a combination of Twitter and Facebook. And when I met them in person at an industry event, it was kind of like we had already met, except not quite. And through interactions like that, I’ve been able to meet and connect with so many more wonderful people than had I done nothing at all.

If you know you’re moving to a new city or state, start connecting with people now. With social media, the barriers for meeting and connecting with others are really low. You just have to make the effort to do so.

And because sharing is caring, here are 5 tips for tracking readership of your blog:

1. Burn your RSS feed to Feedburner. If you are asking, “What’s Feedburner?” then please read on. Feedburner was bought by Google, so if you already have a Gmail account (or other Google-related account), you have a Feedburner account. Log in, type the URL of your blog in the box, and voila! It’s been burned. Take the URL that Feedburner gives you, and create a link on your menu or sidebar. Readers can click to subscribe to your blog! Easy.
2. Give your readers the option to subscribe by email. Some people don’t use Google Reader or know what it is. But they do know what email is (hopefully!) This service for email subscription is also available from Feedburner. Log into your account and select the feed you burned in Tip #1. Go to the “Publicize” tab and click “Email subscriptions.” You can pick up the code to paste into your blog post or website. You can choose your preferences for emails and to view who has subscribed. Pretty nifty!
3. Set up Google Analytics. Google is pretty awesome for offering these services for free. Go to Google Analytics. Log in with your account. Add the URL of your site or blog. It will give you a piece of code which you must insert. There are tutorials from Google on how to do this. Basically, you want Google to be able to “see” it on your website. You’ll want to insert it after the <head> tag and before the </body> tag. From there, you’ll be able to track hits, keywords, referral sources, etc. You’ll be able to know if traffic is coming from Facebook, Twitter, organically, Stumble Upon, etc.
4. Set up Google’s Webmasters Tools. Again, if you’ve never heard of that, keep reading. Since this is also a Google product, you have an account. Go to Google Webmasters Tools, and log in. From there, you can add your website. You will get a line of code which you need to insert on your website. Fear not! There are various tutorials from Google on how to do this. After a couple of months, you will start to see results, as to who is linking to you, the keywords where your site appears on a Google search, and other relevant information.
5. Do you use Twitter? Are you annoyed by super long URLs that don’t fit in 140 characters? Well, start using a URL shortener. There are several out there, but I like bit.ly and su.pr. Both are free services. Basically, you create an account and you can track how many times your short URLs have been clicked. Bit.ly is a basic URL shortener that keeps track of how many times your link was clicked. 0 times, 23 times, or 173 times. Su.pr is owned by Stumble Upon so for every link you submit, you are also submitting to the Stumble Upon network, which can be viewed by a greater audience. It also has some analytics to times of day that your link is clicked.

There you go. Five tips for tracking your readership, and make it a little easier.

And because photos make posts more exciting, can I just say I’m totally craving beignets from Cafe du Monde?!

Happy Friday!

what next?

1. Share this post on Facebook and Twitter!
2. Like me on Facebook here or follow me on Twitter here
3. Subscribe to the new monthly e-newsletter Slice of Photo Cake containing exclusive tips and resources for photographers, from hobbyists to full-timers.  Click here to sign up or leave a comment below.

Cotton-Eyed Joe.

Warm apple pie.

This was my first official Texas wedding, where I truly got the “Texan” vibe, including cowboy boots and country music. It was the first time I heard Cotton-Eyed Joe played at a wedding and the first time I got to witness the line dancing to go along with it. It was so fun! And so different from any wedding I’ve ever been to.

The ceremony was at the Frisco Heritage Center with the cutest chapel! There was also a train depot with fantastic spots for wedding photography. The reception followed at The Ranch House at Austin Ranch, and since the weather was being quite cooperative, it was a beautiful venue, with a gorgeous sunset. The Event Studio did a fabulous job of coordinating the details, including a popcorn station and a pie station. Not to mention that the cake was gorgeous, and delicious! I had the pleasure of shooting alongside Allison Davis, who invited me to join her for Kathy and Cary’s wedding.

Does this not speak Texas, or what? I know, I’m such a California girl and I’m wowed by everything.

A moment of prayer before the big moment.

Right before the ceremony started, to keep the mood light before the serious moments started, Cary and his nephews asked for this shot, so I obliged. So funny.

Florals were arranged by the Urban Blossom.

They had fresh, warm apple pie! How awesome is that? This Texan wedding rocked!

The Cake Guys did an awesome job of assembling this beautifully rustic cake.

The wedding cake had beautiful details.

So this isn’t something I see at every wedding! Again, my introduction to the Texan wedding was awesome. So maybe now, it may be something I see more often. My first exposure to line dancing! Only in the south.

Right behind Kathy and Cary is Allison Davis, lovely wedding photographer in action. Thanks for having me!

Happy Wednesday!

Ceremony: Frisco Heritage Center
Reception: The Ranch House at Austin Ranch, The Colony
Flowers: The Urban Blossom
Cake: The Cake Guys